Why a rose should not open before its time

Her Honour

 

 

                                                             a.      She Knows She’s Precious.

﴿ وَقُلْ لِلْمُؤْمِنَاتِ يَغْضُضْنَ مِنْ أَبْصَارِهِنَّ وَيَحْفَظْنَ فُرُوجَهُنَّ وَلَا يُبْدِينَ زِينَتَهُنَّ إِلَّا مَا ظَهَرَ مِنْهَا

“And tell the believing women to reduce (some) of their vision and guard their private parts and not expose their adornment except that which (necessarily) appears thereof…” [24:31]

 

 

 

1. Why a rose should not open before its time

 

 

My dear sister in Iman, your Rabb has prescribed for you a deen, which takes care of you in ways you cannot imagine.  ‘Iffah, or preserving one’s chastity is being challenged today, where social networking makes it all too easy to interact with someone from the other sex.

    That ‘harmless’ exchange of numbers, or finding the boy next door ‘cute,’ or even relating marital woes to ‘someone who’s funny and understands me,’ will open the floodgates to zinah, and wash away your innocence forever. It is just as Prophet Yahya )) saying zinah begins by “looking and wishing.”[1] 

Let them understand that even if they have found ‘the one’ they’ve been waiting for, or are having to ‘put up with difficult husbands;’ these excuses will not serve as justifications for starting an illicit affair. By Allah, absolutely no explanation for zinah can stand its ground before the raging Hellfire.

Allah ‘Azza wa Jall Says:

﴿ وَلَا تَقْرَبُوا الزِّنَا ۖ إِنَّهُ كَانَ فَاحِشَةً وَسَاءَ سَبِيلًا

“And do not approach unlawful sexual intercourse. Indeed, it is ever an immorality and is evil as a way.” [17:32]

It is related that a beautiful woman from Bani Isra‘eel made a bet with her peers that she could seduce a monk at a neighboring monastery. She waited until the night (hoping it would add to the seduction), and succeeded in getting herself inside the monastery, on the pretext of needing safe shelter. When the right moment came, she dropped her clothes and laid bare her body – offering it for his pleasure. Thereupon, the monk quickly threw his smallest finger in the lamp fire beside him. As his finger burned, he tried to imagine the Hellfire.

When the morning light shone through the window, the monk had prevailed in refraining from evil; but he had no more fingers remaining on his hands. The woman was so overwhelmed by the night’s experience that she repented and turned to Allah.[2]      

In this regard, the Messenger of Allah )) said in a longer narration, “…and so we set out and came to something like a hole like an oven; with a narrow top and wide bottom, and the fire was kindling underneath that hole. He said, ‘We looked inside, and there were naked men and women and there would rise up fire from beneath them and when it reached them, they would scream; and I said, ‘Who are these (people) O Jibreel?’ He said:

« فَهُوَ الزُّنَاةُ »

‘These are the fornicators.’”[3]

For those who compromise their chastity, the hereafter is a constant dread. There are also those painful memories from the past for them to deal with. These scars agonize the hearts of those who’ve been through this personal hell. Often they too were betrayed in the innocent name of ‘true love’ and promises of ‘I will marry you.’ That is why, “avoiding a sin,” said ‘Umar (h), “is lighter than the pain of remorse.”[4]

One sister from somewhere in the Transvaal, wrote to the   ……....……     Majlisul ‘Ulama of South Africa:

                                                                                                                                                                    “ I find myself in a great predicament. My heart is torn with misery. A Muslim man was courting me for eleven months. My intention was to marry him, and I believed that this was his intention as well. We were even engaged. But a short while before our wedding, I discovered that I was going to have a baby. Everything then turned sour. The boy’s parents said that they would not allow their son to marry me. He simply dropped me and we stopped seeing each other. I know that I’m guilty of great sin, but night and day I pray to Allah to forgive me my folly. I am writing this letter to you in the hope that you will publish it so that others.may take a lesson from my misery”.[5]

As we all know, this sister is not the only one caught out this way. We seek refuge in Allah’s Mercy from our sinful excesses – Amin.

That is why, “My sister in Islam,” counsels Shaykh Abdur Rahman As-Sudais. “You will never be able to attain the level of perfection you aspire, except by following the teachings of Islam, and adhering to the limits of sharee‘ah. That is the only way to guarantee the establishment of the love of virtue and rising above indecency in your heart. Stay where you are and by Allah, you will be praised. Stay in your home and you will be happy. Adhere to hijab and you will be in a good state of affairs. Maintain chastity and you will give others peace of mind, and have peace of mind yourself.”[6]

Although inexcusable, the potential of a rumor to cause damage should not be underestimated. We learn of this from the personal account of Sha’bi. He related that when he proposed to a woman from Banu Al-Harith, a young man from the same clan, who was seated nearby approached him and said: “O leader, she’s certainly not good for you!” I said, “O son of my brother, what’s wrong with her?” He said, “I once saw a man kiss her.”

I immediately withdrew my proposal, but then I later found out that that very same young man had married her.  I went to him and said, “Didn’t you tell me you saw a man kissing her?” He said, “Yes, I once saw her father kissing her!”[7]     

Confining yourself to security of sharee‘ah, will Inshallah help you attain the status of those heavenly women referred to in the Qur’an:

﴿ فِيهِنَّ قَاصِرَاتُ الطَّرْفِ لَمْ يَطْمِثْهُنَّ إِنْسٌ قَبْلَهُمْ وَلَا جَانٌّ

“In them are women limiting (their) glances, untouched before them by man or jinni?” [55:56]

And remember, “for a lady to remain at home and perform household chores is in itself an act of worship, if she intends to get close to Allah by this,” as Shaykh Al-Ḥusaynaan said.[8] 

So fear Allah, and know that He is Ar-Raqeeb, the All-Watcher over you. It is narrated that when Zulekha entered upon Prophet Yusuf )) to seduce him, she covered the face of her idol. Yusuf )) told her, “What is wrong with you? Are you ashamed in front of the unseeing eye of something dead and lifeless, while you are not ashamed in front of the watchfulness of the All-Powerful King?”[9]

Your fear of Allah, the Exalted will not go unrewarded, for He Says:

﴿ وَأَمَّا مَنْ خَافَ مَقَامَ رَبِّهِ وَنَهَى النَّفْسَ عَنِ الْهَوَىٰ ◌     فَإِنَّ الْجَنَّةَ هِيَ الْمَأْوَىٰ

“But as for he who feared the position of his Lord and prevented the soul from (unlawful) inclination; then indeed, Paradise will be (his) refuge.” [79:40-41]

 

 


“Those who avoid temptation,

will be praised as Prophet Yusuf.”

 

 

 



[1] Related by Imam Al-Ghazali in Ihya ‘Uloom Ad-Din, 3/ 87.

[2] See Abdul Malik Mujahid, Gems & Jewels, pp. 295-296.

[3] Recorded by Al-Bukhari, 1386.

[4] See Shibli Nu’mani, Al-Farooq, p. 456.

[5] Majlisul ‘Ulama of South Africa Port Elizabeth, The Pious Woman: Al-….Mar’atus Salihah, pp. 52-53.

[6] As-Sudais, p. 254.

[7] Mujahid, p. 204.

[8] Shaykh Khaalid Al-Ḥusaynaan, More than 1000 Sunan, pp. 119-120.

[9] Sheikh Abu Bakr Al-Jazairi, Islamic Etiquette, p. 41.

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